Finally!
Finally an article about sexual identity that I can completely relate to: But I'm Gay!
It's all about that life-up-ending moment when, after being happily gay and out and proud, you find yourself attracted to the opposite sex.
That was totally me three and a half years ago (I can't believe I've been dating Billy for almost that long!)
When I first realized I had a major crush on a boy (my boyfriend, during my freshmen year of college, after never having had an interest in men of any sort and one failed relationship with a girl) it was sooooooooooooo confusing. It wasn't a situation I'd heard of anyone else being in before. Intellectually I knew sexuality was fluid and that bisexuality existed, but it didn't make any sense for this to happen to me.
I think for me the situation was helped because Billy and I were already such good friends before we started dating. We'd met at the beginning of the school year and had quickly become fast friends (despite a jealous girlfriend on his part). And when I figured out that I did, in fact, have a crush on him, I shrugged it off because of said-girlfriend. It was a "safe" crush because nothing could come of it; it would pass in time and I could go back to looking for Ms. Right.
Well then he had to go and dump her because he liked me and the rest is history :-)
I do wish this issue was talked about more, however. Like the article mentions, at first you feel like a traitor (and I was apparently branded one by a high school friend). You feel like you're giving credence to the "it's just a phase" and "all you need is the right man" arguments. You feel like you've been slapped in the face when you see the look of relief on your parents faces. And until today I had never seen anyone else talk about it. Because it is such a taboo topic within the LGBT community, I think we're afraid that if we talk about this too much we'll just give fuel to the aforementioned arguments. It's the same reason that bisexuals have often, and still do, get the short end of the stick when it comes to LGBT issues. We're the least visible because it is so easy for us to "pass" as heterosexuals. I think in some ways those of us who are bisexual aren't really considered part of the queer community if we're dating someone of the opposite sex.
Any thoughts?
It's all about that life-up-ending moment when, after being happily gay and out and proud, you find yourself attracted to the opposite sex.
That was totally me three and a half years ago (I can't believe I've been dating Billy for almost that long!)
When I first realized I had a major crush on a boy (my boyfriend, during my freshmen year of college, after never having had an interest in men of any sort and one failed relationship with a girl) it was sooooooooooooo confusing. It wasn't a situation I'd heard of anyone else being in before. Intellectually I knew sexuality was fluid and that bisexuality existed, but it didn't make any sense for this to happen to me.
I think for me the situation was helped because Billy and I were already such good friends before we started dating. We'd met at the beginning of the school year and had quickly become fast friends (despite a jealous girlfriend on his part). And when I figured out that I did, in fact, have a crush on him, I shrugged it off because of said-girlfriend. It was a "safe" crush because nothing could come of it; it would pass in time and I could go back to looking for Ms. Right.
Well then he had to go and dump her because he liked me and the rest is history :-)
I do wish this issue was talked about more, however. Like the article mentions, at first you feel like a traitor (and I was apparently branded one by a high school friend). You feel like you're giving credence to the "it's just a phase" and "all you need is the right man" arguments. You feel like you've been slapped in the face when you see the look of relief on your parents faces. And until today I had never seen anyone else talk about it. Because it is such a taboo topic within the LGBT community, I think we're afraid that if we talk about this too much we'll just give fuel to the aforementioned arguments. It's the same reason that bisexuals have often, and still do, get the short end of the stick when it comes to LGBT issues. We're the least visible because it is so easy for us to "pass" as heterosexuals. I think in some ways those of us who are bisexual aren't really considered part of the queer community if we're dating someone of the opposite sex.
Any thoughts?
